Blog Articles

 

Tess shares her unique expertise on the challenges young people face today.

How to Tell Your Manager You Need a Break

Alexandra, new to the workforce, is finding it tough to know when it’s time to take a break. Her transition from full-time student to full-time employee has been overwhelming. When you’re in school and studying for finals you know you have a long break coming up, which gives you the extra push you need to finish strong and stay motivated. Now it feels like work is just one long final exam and there is no extended holiday vacation to rest and recharge. While you feel exhausted all day long and need more and more coffee to stay awake, you find yourself awake at 2am thinking about the day...

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If You Want to Receive More Love in Your Life, You Have to Love Yourself First

If You Want to Receive More Love in Your Life, You Have to Love Yourself First

Today I want to talk about what it takes to love yourself. Not sorta, kind of love yourself but really, truly, deeply love yourself with such certainty that no matter what anyone said or did you wouldn’t doubt for a minute love. Learning to love yourself starts in your mind and with a single belief. It’s the belief you're worthy of love and you have the potential to create the life you truly want. It's the belief you’re enough, no matter how you look or what you've done. It’s the belief you’re enough and therefore worthy of love. It's this belief that allows us to see our potential to do...

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How to Identify the Things That’s Holding You Back from Achieving Your Goals

How to Identify the Things That’s Holding You Back from Achieving Your Goals

 Phew!!!! This past month is finally OVER. I don’t know about you but things have been really rough for me.Things have been a little rocky in all areas of my life and biz recently. And I want to be honest, I am human too.When I go through difficult times, it allows me to reevaluate my life in many different ways.And in doing so this past month,  I kept hitting this wall over and over again until I realized what was happening...This week’s topic: Resistance is all around usI was resisting change.Not sure you know what resistance looks like?It’s when you have a great idea or you’ve...

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A Morning Routine to Help You Gain Clarity

A Morning Routine to Help You Gain Clarity

 How’s it going?! Well it’s been quite a month. The sun is finally out and it’s light later and later which I love and I haven’t worn a sweater in a week! You know what that means…spring has arrived.This month we’ve been decluttering and letting go of the big things and the small things in our lives that just don’t work for us anymore. I’ve gotten rid of bags and bags of clothes and shoes and I’ve even managed to get my son to organize his lego collection! (Not an easy task…every set if vital to his collection.)Now you’ve got time and space and you’re ready to move into this new season with...

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What Your Clutter is Telling You (And How to Let Go)

What Your Clutter is Telling You (And How to Let Go)

 My last two articles I’ve talking about decluttering and letting go of the things that are holding you back. Sometimes it is all the physical stuff we have that gets in our way and keeps us stuck. Other times it’s the people in our lives or the situations we’re in that need to go.Hopefully this past week you’ve been decluttering and getting rid of the small things in your life. The small errands you need to run, the phone calls you need to return, the co-worker youneed to tell to stop playing their loud music when you’re trying to work. All those little things that bog you down...

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The Secret to Marie Kondo-ing Your Life’s Clutter

The Secret to Marie Kondo-ing Your Life’s Clutter

 Welcome back! Have you been observing your life and asking yourself the question, “What do I need to let go of?” Are you starting to notice there are things in your life you’ve been tolerating that you’re not willing to tolerate any longer?In my last article I talked about how the simple act of getting rid of chipped plates woke something up in me. Now I know that changing a behavior or maybe letting go of a relationship or good friend is not like tossing a chipped plate into the trash.This first step of observing what isn’t working in your life is just that…a first step. Don’t...

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How to Find Clarity, or What Feng Shui Taught Me About Chipped Plates (And Self Love)

How to Find Clarity, or What Feng Shui Taught Me About Chipped Plates (And Self Love)

Did you watch “Tidying Up” on Netflix? For me it was a master class in how to find clarity. I read Mari Kondo's book a couple of years ago and I got rid of bags of clothes and shoes that don’t bring me joy and lots of other items in my home. It felt good but like most people I fell back into old habits. This year I decided to sign up for a Feng Shui course. If you don’t know about Feng Shui, it’s an ancient art that formed 6,000 years ago in China. It’s hard for me to define it so check out this article if you want to learn more. Back in January I went to a conference in NYC and met a woman...

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Two Words That Are Holding You Back from Loving Yourself

Two Words That Are Holding You Back from Loving Yourself

 I have a confession to make...I have a terrible habit...and it’s a bad one. Every morning I set my alarm for 6am and every morning I hit that snooze button. Not once. Not twice. Like a good 5 or 6 times!I know it’s terrible. The night before I would set the alarm with every single intention to wake up early, work out, get some work done, meditate, read...I had a whole morning planned. The night before...I’m stoked and ready for the next day. How I would feel in the morning...that’s a whole other story.Today, I still set my alarm for 6am and I do hit the snooze, at times, but...

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The List That Will Help You Stop Living In The Future (And Start Being Present)

The List That Will Help You Stop Living In The Future (And Start Being Present)

 Every day as I pick up and drop off my son from school, I take this long winding road up in the hills of Berkeley. We pass by big, beautiful homes that have these amazing views of the Golden Gate Bridge and all of the bay area.Any time I saw a “for sale” sign in front I would imagine what life would look like if I could buy that home. I could see myself waking up in the morning and having my coffee as I looked out across all of Berkeley and into San Francisco.Some days I felt inspired and excited to focus on myself and my business so that fantasy could be a reality but other...

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How to Stop Saying Yes to Things You Don’t Want To Do

How to Stop Saying Yes to Things You Don’t Want To Do

  You might be days away from yet another family function, party, or gathering…....how are you feeling? Exhausted? Energized? Somewhere in between?As I’ve said (more than once), family functions or even parties mean different things to different people.This week’s topic: Do what makes you happyThis week’s topic is a simple one. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you light up inside and makes you feel like YOU.If you love family functions and parties and gatherings then please, do them all. Say YES to everything. BUT if this isn’t you...don’t say yes to all the parties and...

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5 Journal Prompts to Help You Set Intentions That Support Your Vision

5 Journal Prompts to Help You Set Intentions That Support Your Vision

 Do you set intentions?Intentions are awesome. Think about how you want to show up this month (day, year) and set an intention that supports that vision.Mine is, “I intend to keep up with healthy habits.” I will tell you I’m the queen of “I’ll start over tomorrow, monday or in the new year.” Time after time I’ve said this and year after year I would eat too much, drink too much, spend too much and assume the new year would erase it all away. (Hint: It doesn’t.) Today’s topic: Reflect You survived “the holidays, your birthdays, graduation partyies, your move…” with or without your...

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How to Choose to Respond Differently to Stress

How to Choose to Respond Differently to Stress

 There are times throughout the year that stress hits us a little harder than other times. It can  hit us during the holidays, birthdays, moving, graduations etc.And I know there are friends that will simply say to you, “Don’t stress.” They mean well, even if it’s frustrating to hear.But actually that’s not bad advice...I mean simply saying, “don’t stress” to someone who is freaking out is not the best delivery but the idea or meaning underneath is exactly what all of us need to do this month.Today’s topic: Choose to respond to stress differently this yearI’m not denying there is...

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How to Self-Care (it’s More Than Just a Hot Bath)

How to Self-Care (it’s More Than Just a Hot Bath)

 How was your holiday? This year my family decided to go to a restaurant and I have to tell you…I loved it! No shopping, no preparing, no cooking, no cleaning…just eat and go. Some of you may be clutching your pearls at the thought of a restaurant on Thanksgiving…me…I thought it was awesome.So what now?! Well, it’s time for you to focus on YOU.The holidays (or any family event), and all the stress that surrounds them takes a lot out of all of us and you need to take some time for yourself to process, regroup and move forward. This week’s topic: Self-care is more than just a hot...

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When it comes to your family, the best defense is a good offense

When it comes to your family, the best defense is a good offense

 It’s T-minus until {Insert holiday, or event, wedding…you name it}I’m not talking about whether you have your ID to get on a plane or if you’ve bought the “right” dessert. I’m talking about a plan of action for yourself IF things with your family goes sideways…and not in a good way.Hopefully you’ve been working on identifying how you want to show up for the holidays/wedding and what boundaries you need to set in order to get through, and all the other upcoming holidays/events, without pulling all of your hair out. This week’s topic: Have an exit strategyMany people think because...

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To create or not to create boundaries…it’s not a question…you must create boundaries.

To create or not to create boundaries…it’s not a question…you must create boundaries.

 Reflecting upon what you want and need from yourself and your family during the holiday season or any time of year is imperative.When I say “what you want and need” I’m talking about determining how you want to behave when you’re around your family and what behavior from your family you’re willing and not willing to tolerate.Many times we assume because “its our family” we have to excuse or tolerate words and behavior that we would never excuse or tolerate from our friends. Not true. As I mentioned last week the beauty of being an adult is YOU get to decide what is OK and not OK...

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Adulting during the holiday season

Adulting during the holiday season

 So here we are…again. Halloween is over. It’s now November which means holiday season is around the corner.Whether you love your family, hate your family or feel somewhere in between, the holidays always brings up a lot of “stuff” for all of us.What I hear from many of my clients is, “I’ve been working on myself for this entire year. I’m building my confidence and creating a life I love and all it takes is one meal with my family to throw me right back to where I started!”You can prevent this from happening!This entire month we’re going to be working on creating a holiday...

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The 7 Steps to Surviving Your 20s

The 7 Steps to Surviving Your 20s

The hardest part about being in your 20s  is all the unknowns: Not knowing if you’re in the right career. Not knowing if you’re in the right relationship. Not knowing if you’ll ever find the right career or relationship. Some days life feels amazing, as if nothing could bring you down. Other days… not so much. Here are 7 steps to surviving your 20s. It’s tough to know if you should  just be happy and content for what you have or if it’s time to cut your losses and go in a new direction. I hate to break it to you but the 20-something years are all about uncovering the unknowns. You can’t know...

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What’s really going on between your ears?!

What’s really going on between your ears?!

 What are your thoughts saying to you???If you’ve been practicing the exercise from my last article, then you should be well acquainted with the running inner dialogue that’s saying in your head right now, “Oh wait…I didn’t read your last article…maybe I should go back and do that. Click here to read.…I don’t have time for that…I should get back to work…I have so much to do today…ugh I have that meeting in an hour…I really hate Bob from accounting…all he does is talk………”That’s the running dialogue I’m talking about. Right now as I write this article I’m thinking, “I don’t know...

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There are some fears you shouldn’t run from…

There are some fears you shouldn’t run from…

 Today is the perfect time to talk about fear!!!! I’m not talking about horror movies or haunted houses or cobwebs in the bushes and all the other things associated with this holiday. I’m talking about the various anxieties and fears we walk around with every other day of the year.Overall having certain fears is important. We need our anxiety because it’s what gets out of bed in the morning to go to work to pay our bills and to make sure we look both ways when we cross the street.Those are our human instincts for survival and those are your good “fears.”Today I want to talk about...

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OK…I’ve cleansed! Now What?

OK…I’ve cleansed! Now What?

 In this article I want you to focus on your worth as a person and not get too caught up in being busy, busy, busy all the time.While we think we don’t want to be busy we really do. What..huh?! When you’re busy moving a million miles an hour, running from meeting to meeting, you don’t have to think about anything but how busy you are! This week’s topic: How do you move forward?Our desire to be perceived as “so busy” gets in the way of us being able to get quiet and reflect upon our lives. There’s an exercise I share with my clients called, “The Alarm Exercise” which is a...

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How to be brave even when you’re feeling afraid

How to be brave even when you’re feeling afraid

I often think about how to be brave, and this quote has been stuck in my head since I heard Jon Acuff say it on John Lee Dumas’ podcast, “Entrepreneur on Fire”: "Bravery is a choice, not a feeling." When I think about the act of bravery, I always imagine a warrior on a horse with a giant spear going off to fight for the greater good of mankind. (It just occurred to me that this is the iconic image of Mel Gibson in “Braveheart.” I never saw the movie but I do remember Mel’s half painted face and him screaming Freeeedommm!) But I digress. The quote wouldn’t leave my mind. I then did something...

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How to Navigate Your 20-Something Years (and Keep Your Sanity)

How to Navigate Your 20-Something Years (and Keep Your Sanity)

You -- a 20-something -- are walking down a crowded street, past stores and cafes full of other 20-somethings. As you pass by, you see signs of confidence everywhere: the way the brunette with the knee boots strides into the bookstore. The way the young couple lean into each other over their coffees, knowing smiles on their faces. The way the other passer-bys nod their head as they talk to whoever on their phones. You know their stories all too well, too. Your college roommate has committed herself to a life of true freedom. She’s just bought a camper, sold all her stuff, and is moving to...

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Your “to-do list” isn’t judging you…I promise

Your “to-do list” isn’t judging you…I promise

 Today I want to talk about something that seems a little silly but the message is important — “to-do” lists. I love a good “to-do” list. Sometimes I’ll write things on the list that are super easy and simple because I love the feeling of crossing it out and feeling this sense of accomplishment. This week’s topic: Reframe your “to-do” listThere’s nothing wrong with “to-do lists.” The problem that I see with these lists is how we judge ourselves based on how many items we have on the list. Here’s a common scenario for my clients. They have a million things to do each day. They...

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In the immortal words of Siggy Flicker, “Know Your Worth!”

In the immortal words of Siggy Flicker, “Know Your Worth!”

It can be a struggle to truly know your worth. Here's how to start recognizing that you deserve more and deserve better. Well, I guess I can’t hide it anymore…I’m a huge Real Housewives fan. I watch all the cities. I listen to several different housewives podcasts. My sister and I will spend hours on the phone debating Bethanny vs. Carol (I can see both sides but mainly hate that they’re no longer friends.). If you’re not a fan then let me explain…Siggy Flicker was a housewife in New Jersey for about two seasons. People loved her the first season and then her second season she got a little...

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Banish your inner “mean girl” (or guy)

Banish your inner “mean girl” (or guy)

 Are there certain times of the year that you feel you can do things a little differently? You can start over and have a new beginning?For me it’s September, it has always felt like new beginnings for me. Even after I left school and started working full-time there was something about September that made me feel like I could do some things differently. For others, it might be the start of spring.But for you, I want you to know it can be any day you make the decision to do so. This week’s topic: Banish your inner “mean girl” (or guy)This week we’re talking about something each and...

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Let’s clean out your emotional closet…

Let’s clean out your emotional closet…

 Everyday can be a fresh start if you let it be. It can be a time to get rid of the old stuff and start to do things differently.I take time each month to review my life. I cleanse and let go of things that no longer serve me. Let’s talk about what you can let go, what you can keep and what’s your next action step. This week’s topic: ForgivenessI know I just jumped right in but this is an important topic. Here’s the thing about forgiveness, You don’t forgive for the other person, you forgive for yourself.One of the reasons we hold onto our anger and resentment towards someone who...

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Everything You Need to Know About Your Impending Career Crisis

Everything You Need to Know About Your Impending Career Crisis

 “So typical right?! I’m 26 and having a quarter-life crisis! I hate my job but have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m such a cliché.” These words have probably been uttered by every single twenty-something that has walked through my door.Sometimes she is 28 and says work is “meh” and sometimes she is 23 and has worked incredibly hard to get a position at a top company only to find one year in, she is burned-out. Regardless of age or job, she always feels she is the only person in the world that experiences the dreaded quarter-life career crisis.Well I’m here to say,...

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The 3 Keys to Forming New Habits

The 3 Keys to Forming New Habits

 Do you have a drill sergeant living inside your head? So many of my clients tell me that they have this voice inside of their head that helps them form and stick to new habits.The problem they tell me is, while they hate this imaginary authoritarian that rules their life; they can’t possibly let themselves “off the hook” and adopt a new way of thinking. If they did that all their good habits and behaviors will magically disappear.Once upon a time the school of thought was you needed to tear a person down and then build them back up in order to form a new habit.Don’t get me...

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To Go Home Or Not to Go Home? When Are You Old Enough Not To Go Home For The Holidays?

To Go Home Or Not to Go Home? When Are You Old Enough Not To Go Home For The Holidays?

 Halloween is officially over. Costumes have been put away, Halloween candy has either been eaten or thrown away and now it’s time to focus on the next couple of months AKA “the holidays.”When you were in high school it was pretty much a given that you would spend the holidays with your family. Whether your parents were together or apart, there was some kind of “plan” already worked out for you. All you needed to do was just show up.In college, it was expected that you would go home during the holidays or, if you were like me and went to college 3,000 miles away from home, found...

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What’s Your Story? The Lies We Tell Ourselves

What’s Your Story? The Lies We Tell Ourselves

 Some say that the writing process can be thought of as a parallel of our own stages of development. Let me explain.Your adolescence is your first draft. Think about when you first sit down to write. Your first draft is always emotional and full of thoughts and ideas, some make sense, but unfortunately most do not.This idea made me think about the twenty-something years (OK I admit it…I’m always thinking about twenty-somethings in some capacity). At this point in your life, you’ve already written the first draft and gone through the pain and angst of filling up the blank page. So...

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Reinvent Yourself the Right Way

Reinvent Yourself the Right Way

 When I went to college, I thought my experience should look like a J. Crew catalog. I picked a university 3,000 miles away from home in a small, picturesque New England town. I thought that if I picked a place that was so radically different from the people and place I grew up in, that would be the best way to become the J.Crew model and have a different kind of life.Boy, was I wrong.I only spent one year at that school, but it taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life: wherever you go, there you are. Defining what you wantGoing away to college can be the perfect...

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You Never Really Start Over

You Never Really Start Over

 “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” – Joseph CampbellWhen I was 26 years old, I attended Jennifer Aniston’s 30th birthday party thrown by her then husband Brad Pitt. This was a much sought-after invitation and my talent manager/boss invited me to go along. It was going to be me, Jen, Brad and 1200 of our closest friends.Just knowing that I was going to this “exclusive” party made me feel like a real Hollywood Insider.At any other birthday party, you...

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Asking for Help

Asking for Help

 Understanding the kind of support you need and then finding that support is so important. Often times in life, we need that partner, therapist or coach to guide us through the process and hold us accountable. It is important to find that person; the right person.The world today is dramatically different than what it was 20 years ago. The same problems and issues exist, but technology and social media take these problems to the extreme. There are so many outside success stories, false realities, and information thrown at you via social media, decisions understandably become...

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The Importance of Failure

The Importance of Failure

 In today’s world, there is an abundance of negativity around failure. The truth of the matter is, failure is a good thing. It is a necessary thing. In order to truly know who you are, you must fail. You must fail to build character. You must fail to build grit. You must fail to discover you.A huge component of failure and fear of failure is procrastination.  We procrastinate what we need to do because we fear failure. What you need to realize is that sometimes things just don’t work out. The timing may be off or the situations isn’t right, but that doesn't mean it was a...

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Self Validation

Self Validation

 It’s natural to seek validation from our boss, co-workers, family, and friends. Often times you may feel like we’re on the right track in a particular situation, but receiving outside validation solidifies that and calms our fears.What happens, however, when you don’t have the outside resources to validate? The reality is you can only rely on you which is why it’s extremely important you learn how to validate yourself because you’re the only person that has complete control of you.Validation is a strong foundation of who you are, how you see yourself, what you believe in and...

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Creating a Plan of Action

Creating a Plan of Action

 No matter what you are trying to accomplish in your life: whether it’s get a job, start a healthy lifestyle, or build a business, it is difficult to keep the momentum. Creating a plan of action helps to keep going and obtain our goals.“Smart Goals” is a tool that is used to get very specific on your goals.S: Specific - I want to earn $10,000 a month, I want to run for 20 minutes straight no breaksM: Measurable - There must be a way to know if you’ve accomplished the goalA: Attainable - Your goal must be within reachR: Relevant - It has to be something you want and care aboutT:...

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Asking for Help

Asking for Help

 Ultimately rocking the nation, Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade committed suicide within days of each other. As sad and heartbreaking as these situations were, I am thankful the world is finally starting to discuss mental health.If you aren’t happy within yourself, or if your dopamine or serotonin levels are off, nothing else matters. Money, family, jobs… nothing matters. If you are experiencing mental health issues, you didn’t cause it, but ultimately it is up to you to figure out how to address it. Mental health is a disease. Health care systems will reimburse you for seeing a...

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