There are some fears you shouldn’t run from…
Today is the perfect time to talk about fear!!!! I’m not talking about horror movies or haunted houses or cobwebs in the bushes and all the other things associated with this holiday. I’m talking about the various anxieties and fears we walk around with every other day of the year.
Overall having certain fears is important. We need our anxiety because it’s what gets out of bed in the morning to go to work to pay our bills and to make sure we look both ways when we cross the street.
Those are our human instincts for survival and those are your good “fears.”
Today I want to talk about the not-so-good “fears.” You know those fears…the ones that lurk in the back of your mind and keep you from really achieving your ultimate goals.
This week’s topic: Don’t let your “fake” fears become your reality
In today’s article I want to highlight three (3) “fake” fears that come up over and over again:
Fear #1: “I don’t know how to do my job and everyone knows it.”
Fear #2: “I don’t have enough confidence to do _________.”
Fear #3: “I need everyone to like me all the time aka I need to please everyone.”
Any of these sound familiar?
These “fake” or “false” fears are stopping you from having the confidence to take charge at work, from setting positive limits and boundaries in your relationships and, most importantly, having a sense of quiet strength in order to focus on what’s really important.
Fear #1 is otherwise known as imposter syndrome. The fear of being “found out” at work because you fear (falsely) that you don’t know how to do your job.
Fear #2 is a lie we tell ourselves to protect us from failure but it’s really protecting us from going after the things we truly want.
Fear #3 is this desire to be “liked” and make everyone around you happy without ever thinking about what you really want and need. Our desire to be loved and validated by others is a part of being human but we can’t always put aside what we want for other people.
Action Step: Stop listening to the fear aka “Just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true.”
Here’s a radical idea what if you decided each time one of these three (3) “fake” fears pops in your head to simply not listen to it…what?! That’s right.
The next time you think to yourself, “I really don’t have the confidence to go after that promotion” you simply stop yourself and think, “Wait a minute…this is a false fear…confidence comes from taking action and going after what you want so I need to go after that promotion.”
Someone challenges you at work and you automatically think, “They’re probably right…I should listen to them” you stop yourself and think (or even shout), “NOOOOOOOO…I know my job and I know the answer. Just because he’s talking the loudest doesn’t make him right.”
Your co-worker dumps another project on you (a project that really falls under her job role) and you think, “I want to be a team player and my co-worker always seems so busy and I want to be seen as someone to go to so maybe just this once…” you stop and say (out loud), “I would love to help you out but I’m really swamped right now and can’t take on projects that aren’t a part of my work stream.”
Deep breathe…it feels a little scary to shift your mindset and ask for what you want and need but it’s not as scary as you imagine.
That’s it for today!!!
Have a great week.