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If You Want to Receive More Love in Your Life, You Have to Love Yourself First

by Aug 8, 2019Love & Relationships0 comments

Today I want to talk about what it takes to love yourself. Not sorta, kind of love yourself but really, truly, deeply love yourself with such certainty that no matter what anyone said or did you wouldn’t doubt for a minute love.

Learning to love yourself starts in your mind and with a single belief.

It’s the belief you’re worthy of love and you have the potential to create the life you truly want. It’s the belief you’re enough, no matter how you look or what you’ve done.

It’s the belief you’re enough and therefore worthy of love.

It’s this belief that allows us to see our potential to do great things.  ——-> This in turn helps us take action towards our goals, and any time we take regular action, we start to get results ——->

The more we take action, the more we see results———->Those results become the catalyst to continuing to believe we are enough and the cycle continues.

Essentially, the formula for believing in yourself (and in turn loving yourself) is this:


For example, if you want to lose weight the first thing you need to do is love yourself and love your body right now! I know sounds crazy…right?!

Loving yourself and your body doesn’t mean you don’t want to get healthy and isn’t going to make you not want to get healthy. Suddenly losing weight isn’t about thinking you have to be thin to be loved, it will be about getting healthy because you love yourself enough to be healthy. Make sense?

In other words, the love you have for yourself will help you see how you have the potential to take steps to eat healthier and move your body more.

Now then what happens? You start to become more aware of the food you’re eating and how much you’re moving and over time you start to see the results. Those results reinforce the belief you are able to live a healthier lifestyle and continue to take action towards your goals.

Telling yourself you are a “fat, ugly slob and need to lose weight” isn’t going to motivate you to take action. It might in the short-term but long-term that belief will continue to get in your way when you hit a roadblock or have a bad day.

The problem many people run into is there is no way to measure or truly validate or see with our eyes our “enoughness.” So we tend to look outside of ourselves for that tangible validation. We look at our physical appearance, social media following, how much we earn, what car we drive, etc. to determine our own value.

People get stuck wanting to know “for sure” they are worthy of love which prevents them from taking action. They wait until they feel confident to take action but confidence comes from taking action. People get stuck not knowing how to simply jump in and believe when that’s all you need to do.

I always urge my clients if they want to love themselves, they have to start with the belief and then start taking action. Actions that are new and scary and will be uncomfortable but self-love and confidence are muscles and the more action you take, the more confident you will feel and therefore the more action you’ll take.

If the action you want to take feels too scary and overwhelming, just focus on the first step. Steps that feel scary but doable.

When you think about simply “believing” it’s easy to come up with a million excuses or reasons why this feels “wrong” or uncomfortable. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you’re an egomaniac or that you’ll get too full of yourself and it will all go to your head. Being too confident doesn’t mean you’ll start alienating people from your life or others won’t accept you.

None of that really matters. Your life begins and ends with you.

How you choose to speak to yourself. How you choose to spend your time. How you choose to live your life. If you want to love yourself more, stop making excuses or feeling embarrassed, just simply make the choice to belief you are enough and you are confident.

Usually, by now I give you an action step. Start allowing yourself, if only a little bit, to love yourself and to believe you are enough, right here and now.

It’s making the decision to stop beating yourself up, calling yourself names, and making you feel like sh&%. If you hear that voice again…tell it to STOP. If you catch yourself being mean to yourself…STOP. Even if you don’t completely believe it…allow yourself to imagine what that would feel like and simply….believe.

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What if you stopped beating yourself up all the time?

In the immortal words of Siggy Flicker, “Know your worth!”