Mental Health

 Some say that the writing process can be thought of as a parallel of our own stages of development. Let me explain.Your adolescence is your first draft. Think about when you first sit down to write. Your first draft is always emotional and full of thoughts and ideas, some make sense, but unfortunately most do not.This idea made me think about the twenty-something years (OK I admit it…I’m always thinking about twenty-somethings in some capacity). At this point in your life, you’ve already written the first draft and gone through the pain and angst of filling up the blank page. So...

 When I went to college, I thought my experience should look like a J. Crew catalog. I picked a university 3,000 miles away from home in a small, picturesque New England town. I thought that if I picked a place that was so radically different from the people and place I grew up in, that would be the best way to become the J.Crew model and have a different kind of life.Boy, was I wrong.I only spent one year at that school, but it taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life: wherever you go, there you are. Defining what you wantGoing away to college can be the perfect...

 “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” – Joseph CampbellWhen I was 26 years old, I attended Jennifer Aniston’s 30th birthday party thrown by her then husband Brad Pitt. This was a much sought-after invitation and my talent manager/boss invited me to go along. It was going to be me, Jen, Brad and 1200 of our closest friends.Just knowing that I was going to this “exclusive” party made me feel like a real Hollywood Insider.At any other birthday party, you...

 Understanding the kind of support you need and then finding that support is so important. Often times in life, we need that partner, therapist or coach to guide us through the process and hold us accountable. It is important to find that person; the right person.The world today is dramatically different than what it was 20 years ago. The same problems and issues exist, but technology and social media take these problems to the extreme. There are so many outside success stories, false realities, and information thrown at you via social media, decisions understandably become...

 In today’s world, there is an abundance of negativity around failure. The truth of the matter is, failure is a good thing. It is a necessary thing. In order to truly know who you are, you must fail. You must fail to build character. You must fail to build grit. You must fail to discover you.A huge component of failure and fear of failure is procrastination.  We procrastinate what we need to do because we fear failure. What you need to realize is that sometimes things just don’t work out. The timing may be off or the situations isn’t right, but that doesn't mean it was a...

 It’s natural to seek validation from our boss, co-workers, family, and friends. Often times you may feel like we’re on the right track in a particular situation, but receiving outside validation solidifies that and calms our fears.What happens, however, when you don’t have the outside resources to validate? The reality is you can only rely on you which is why it’s extremely important you learn how to validate yourself because you’re the only person that has complete control of you.Validation is a strong foundation of who you are, how you see yourself, what you believe in and...

 No matter what you are trying to accomplish in your life: whether it’s get a job, start a healthy lifestyle, or build a business, it is difficult to keep the momentum. Creating a plan of action helps to keep going and obtain our goals.“Smart Goals” is a tool that is used to get very specific on your goals.S: Specific - I want to earn $10,000 a month, I want to run for 20 minutes straight no breaksM: Measurable - There must be a way to know if you’ve accomplished the goalA: Attainable - Your goal must be within reachR: Relevant - It has to be something you want and care aboutT:...

 Ultimately rocking the nation, Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade committed suicide within days of each other. As sad and heartbreaking as these situations were, I am thankful the world is finally starting to discuss mental health.If you aren’t happy within yourself, or if your dopamine or serotonin levels are off, nothing else matters. Money, family, jobs… nothing matters. If you are experiencing mental health issues, you didn’t cause it, but ultimately it is up to you to figure out how to address it. Mental health is a disease. Health care systems will reimburse you for seeing a...

 Decision making can be an emotional experience. We don’t make decisions on hard facts. We make decisions based on our emotions. If you’re trying to change and create new habits, you can easily get bogged down by having to make a number of decisions.Which is why when it comes to the smaller decisions you make every day you want to decide ahead of time. This allows you to eliminate the constant decision making and form habits. For instance, if you decide you want to get healthy and eat better you make the decision you eat salad for lunch. This way when you go to order lunch you’re...

 As much as I would love to tell you there is a magic formula for making decisions; there is not. More often than not, our instinct is to write a “pro” and “con” list to determine the fate of our future. There is a perception that the “list” will provide the right decision. In reality, there are no right or wrong decisions. There are just the decisions that we make.Weighing decisions can be a double edged sword. Choosing between two different things that you like, or that you are interested in, will inevitably bring some sense sadness or disappointment because there will be a...

 One of the biggest questions we ask ourselves is, “what is my life’s purpose?” Is the answer happiness? Is the answer the perfect job? Is it a fulfilling relationship? Is it a place to live? Is it a mental state? Is there even an answer? Before you start hyperventilating, take a deep breath. Rest assured, in many ways, we do have a life purpose. And, finding your life purpose shouldn’t be as difficult to discover as you may think. The whole life purpose concept can be extremely overwhelming and daunting, but it’s all about perspective…1. Stop Thinking and Start Doing: ExploreYou...

 In May of 2013, TIME magazine released a cover story titled ‘The Me Me Me Generation: Millennials are lazy, entitled narcissists, who still live with their parents; Why they’ll save us all’. Now, I’m not a millennial, but I had two thoughts when I saw this. First of all: “Rude. If you’re going to insult an entire generation, at least try to hide it better than that”. Second: “Huh; that’s not where I saw that ending”. As a millennial, I’m sure you’ve heard both sides of this argument. It seems like half the population thinks that 20-Somethings are the worst thing to ever happen...

 “Are you dating anyone?” “Kind of! I mean, we just started talking on Tinder a few days ago, but we really connect on a level that I haven’t really found with anyone else. I can see a real future with them.”We have all either said these words or know someone who has said them. What’s the typical end result here? You end up disappointed because you went in with your expectations too high, or you imagine the whole story before it’s even begun. For example: you start talking to someone online or meet someone at a bar and decide that they’re “the one”. Next thing you know, you’re...

 Today’s adulting hack is all about how to stop mentally beating yourself up one thought at a time.Do you have one negative, nasty thought that plays in your mind over and over again? Maybe you have dozens. Maybe even hundreds. Whether you know it or not, these repetitive negative thoughts are weakening your confidence and keeping you in what is called a “negative feedback loop.”Here’s how it works:Lets say at work you’re always saying to yourself, “I’m terrible at my job. I don’t know what I’m doing and any day I’m going to get fired.” Every time you say something like this to...

 Today’s adulting hack is all about the f-word. No, not that one; today we’re talking about fear.I’m not going to bore you with a lecture about human biology and our “fight or flight response” and why fear and anxiety are important.What’s important to remember is anxiety is our body’s natural response to danger. It’s an alarm that goes off when you feel threatened, under pressure, or facing a stressful situation.Fear and anxiety, in moderation, is a good thing. It motivates us to go to work for fear of not being able to pay our bills. It prompts us to run across the street to...

 Today’s adulting hack is all how to stop comparing yourself to other people.When we feel lost and unhappy in our lives, the first thing we all do is play the comparison game. We look at ourselves, and wonder, “What did I do wrong?”. We start to look outside of ourselves to figure out what we’re missing.It’s human nature to look at other people as a measuring stick of our own success or failure.We all know our friends aren’t as happy and content as they present themselves on social media, but for some reason while we know this intellectually, we just can’t get past it...

How do you deal with self-doubt? I’m going to let you in on a little secret. There are moments when I’m filled with doubt. Actually, there have been hours and sometimes days when I’ve been filled with doubt. I doubt whether or not I’m helping with my clients. I doubt my abilities as a parent. I doubt myself right now as I write this blog. Yet, here I am, still writing this blog (despite the doubt) and posting it and putting it out in the world. Did I feel nervous about it? Yes. Did I do it anyway? Yes – unless for some reason we’re in the upside down world and you’ve managed to read this in...

 When you meet someone new, usually you’re thinking to yourself, “a new person… awesome!” or maybe, “I’ve already forgotten your name….sorry...” or even, “I hope I don’t have food in my teeth...”. All of these are normal responses and usually lead to good (if not re-introductory) interactions! However, there are occasionally feelings of fear or uneasiness, and thoughts including: “something doesn’t feel right here”. That pit in your stomach is your intuition. While hopefully not as common, this feeling is just as valid- if not more so- as the prospect of a positive...

 This week we’re talking about how to solve your own problems.I know…it’s not a very sexy topic but it’s vital for 20-somethings to learn how to solve their own problems. And before any parents out there jump in to agree or disagree with me… some of you are part of the problem.In school we’re taught how to think critically. We learn how to look at a particular issue from various sides in order to determine the best possible outcome. So, why is it so hard to apply that same critical eye to our issues?It’s so easy to see your best friend should dump her loser boyfriend. It’s so...

 There are some SERIOUSLY awesome comediennes running around Hollywood these days. Most with some killer life advice. I’ve gathered some of my favorites together for an irresistible collection of life-advice worth saving for those days when you Just. Can’t. Even.Amy SchumerKnown for: Sassy stand up comedy, author of The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, movies including ‘Trainwreck’ and ‘Snatched’ “The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.”When our lives feel like they're out of control we want to try and "fix" the...

  “You are who you are. The sooner you learn how to love and accept yourself, the sooner you can start enjoying the complicated, flawed, slightly weird, never perfect person that we all are.” My husband and I recently got a puppy for our 9-year-old son, Max. Max struggles with anxiety. It got so bad earlier this year that we made the decision to pull him out of school in order to get him additional help. As the summer went on and my son’s anxiety got better, my anxiety got worse as I thought about him returning to school full-time. Max had been begging for a dog (as most children do)...

 Do you know who a “cool girl” is?The “cool girl” has been around a long time but it wasn’t until Gillian Flynn perfectly identified this particular woman in her book “Gone Girl.” Here is the “cool girl” excerpt:"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang...

 How to Make a DecisionWe spend too much time making choices based on what could happen. Make the decision and if the bottom falls out – you will handle it then. In the meantime enjoy the decision you made. Making choices and decisions means you’re moving in a direction in your life.If you’re struggling to make a decision right now, here’s something you can do:1) Write out each option so you’re clear on what the choice is. Eliminate any options that you have a nagging feeling about and/or know that it is not what you want to do. Usually when making a decision there are 3 options...

 After years of counseling, coaching and researching the Millennial Generation, I’ve come to realize that the average Millennial today is caught in what I like to call “a perfect storm.”You already know that the transition from school life to the working world can be a challenging time. You’re on your own, paying your own rent, working at your first or second “real” job, and struggling to adjust to true adulthood.The world we live in today, the world you were born into, is vastly different than what it was 20 years ago. The rise of technology and the pressure to be connected all...

 There are just too many choices when you are in your twenties. When you are young your choices feel unlimited. When you are away from your parents, out of college, unmarried with no children; there is nothing stopping you from traveling the world, moving across the country, pursuing a career that you always dreamed of or dyeing your hair 15 different colors or starting a business from your living room.Life is full of choices and you will be making decisions in your 30s, 40s and 50s. Nonetheless the choices you make in your 20s create the foundation for the life you are...

Do you have voices in your head? No…not those kind of voices…I’m talking about that little nagging voice that you hear when you are falling asleep at night or washing your hair in the shower. The one that tells you that you are “not enough.” It's these negative thinking spirals that seem to pop up out of nowhere. So how do you stop negative thoughts? You just recognized yourself having another negative thought either about yourself, an event or maybe a situation you are struggling with. I am not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, rich enough…essentially I am not enough. I’ll let you...

 It is an image we have seen a hundred times in movies and television shows. The scene opens with a young attractive woman shutting off the alarm clock at 5:00am. The catchy music starts, our protagonist is taking her pre-dawn run around the neighborhood,  drinking her green protein shake, quickly getting dressed in her gorgeous and expensive power suit, running out the door, catching a cab, getting coffee at Starbucks, texting, returning phone calls…you get the picture. We are subtly being told, “be the best, work hard, keep running and be beautiful while doing it.” No wonder we...